So then of course Snooki in all her snookiness decides to get into a suitcase, just because. If you are wondering, yes she fits and yes that's probably how she smuggled herself into this country. -->The next morning, Situation woke up with the gruesome twosome in his room and extended the olive branch and said to just forget what happened last night because at the end of the day they are all a family. Ronnie quickly shut him up by saying, "Enough with the family bullshit". Bad move Ron-Ron because if there is anyone is that house that can finagle something it would be him. So all the boys plus Ronnie's shadow (Sammi of course) go to GTL (gym, tan, laundry for those who are new to the Shoarisms). Sammi looks bored out of her ass at the gym, barely doing anything and pretty much just watching and following her leader. Deena appropriately named her "The Backpack". Is she like Dora the Explorers backpack that carries cool stuff like maps...?
Anyway back at the house, Vin and Pauly are tossing a ball and ask Deena what real boobs are made of and she answers, "I don't know, boob fat." Pauly responds, "I thought milk." Deena answers, "No I think that's only when you're pregnant." Ummmm yah think!!!! I mean what more can I say about that... seriously.
As characteristically of the summer, the night comes out late, slowly crawls onto the sky and the guidos come out to fist pump. We get the first call of Pauly's "Cabs ah hea!" Love! Except Vinny comes out with a crappy ass nursery rhyme sounding "T-shirt time, t-shirt time, come on everybody, its t-shirt time" Uh no! And of course they (they meaning everyone but the gruesome twosome) go to the boardwalks only club it seems, Karma. The boys go out to find who is DTF (Shoarism meaning Down To Fuck) or as Vinny so lovingly puts it, "Going on a hog hunt". Hmmm, didn't know you were DTF a pig. But now we know how you like your women, not like we didn't know. Vinny gets a stalker who literally follows him everywhere he was going. I mean girl you didn't get the hint when walked away the first 5 times and when he yelled at you? Sad. Anyway somehow Vinny and Sitch (Shoarism meaning a nickname to the nickname Situation who is also Mike) finagle a girl to come home and have a threesome... really?! But Vinny quickly (and smartly) takes her into the guest room and locks the door preventing Mike to go in. Good thing because really dude you want Mike's balls to rub on you?? No! Mike goes to the kitchen to make himself something and Deena offers herself again to Mike and he was like "ha ha no I got my PB&J sangwitch". Burn! Jwoww makes a drunkie call to her boyfriend Tom where he reminds her it's their anniversary and she forgot it. Jwoww to the dog house! You can tell who is invested in that relationship!
Morning creeps its ugly head and Ronnie and Sammi decide to wake up early and go to church. Huh?!? Wait, what?!?!?! That can't be right!! Oh yes children be scared they went to church to "release some sins"... By releasing some sins does Sammi mean jumping into a pool of holy water and coming out a skeleton? I can almost guarantee they sizzled a little when they were in church. Oh and I almost forgot to mention, the most appropriate thing to wear to church is obviously sweats (!). This was one of many stops for the pair in which they decided to take the big car (the escalade provided to them by the producers to transport all of them in one ride), all day and not tell anyone where they went.
The gang wakes up and Deena is first up and ready to go with all the energy in the world. Snooki said of Deena, "She's like the energizer bunny, except her batteries don't run out". Ummm... yes Snooki that's the point of the energizer bunny, for its batteries not to die, that's why it keeps going and going and... yeah she didn't quite catch that. Never mind.
Sunday dinner comes around that evening and Sitch makes dinner with the "help" of Deena. It's apparent that she only has stepped in the kitchen to eat. That poor girl has no idea what she is doing in there! Also during the preparation of Sunday dinner comes my favorite, oh so favorite, new word from Pauly when he says they are having "fillet mig-non", yes that's correct he said mig-non instead of mignon. Oh lord must have patience. Regardless, the twosome miss Sunday dinner! GASP! Yes, slap in the face! No one has every missed Sunday dinner!! Aaaaahhhhh shit, it's on!!!! But when they arrive nothing really happens except Sammi saying she doesn't care about missing Sunday dinner... blagh!
This summer just like last, the cast needs to work at the "T-shirt Store" to make the dough for the vodka and bling. First thing that I noticed was the amount of shirts that are about the Shoar. I notice these wonderful artifacts...
When they start their shift the next day, Mike bails and doesn't work (surprise) leaving Vinny and Deena at the store. Meanwhile, there are huge crowds outside the store! But then again nothing fun. It is work after all!
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| Sammi has no fun without Ron. wah! |
And here the episode ends again with drama from the pair. But next week is a double episode YAY! And we don't have to wake long for Jwoww to break up with Tom, Snooki to get arrested and more drama from the annoying two (I can seriously skip that part).
